THROUGH MY WINDOW — What Taught Them That?
A simple question that can replace quick judgments with curiosity and deeper understanding.
Companion to This Episode
Sometimes we think we're judging someone's character when we're really reacting to lessons we never knew they had learned.
In this Through MY Window reflection, I share a story from my son Zak's wedding that completely changed the way I think about misunderstanding. What looked like criticism of me turned out to be something very different: two people trying to express the very same values in two different ways.
That experience led me to a simple question I now try to ask whenever someone's behavior surprises, frustrates, or confuses me:
"What taught them that?"
It doesn't excuse every action, and it doesn't erase every disagreement. But it often creates enough space for curiosity to replace certainty—and sometimes that's where understanding begins.
💬 Let’s Talk 💬
Can you think of a time when you completely misunderstood someone's behavior and later realized there was a story behind it?
Or maybe the opposite. Has someone ever misunderstood one of your actions because they didn't know your story?
I'd genuinely love to hear your story. Stories like these remind us how often our first interpretation isn't the whole picture—and how much can change when we become curious about what we can't yet see.
If you choose to share, the life experiences you bring are deeply valued here. Reflections can be shared in the comments on the What Taught Them That | American Together video on the American Together YouTube channel, or in our upcoming community space (coming soon).
🛠 3 Ps in Action: Comment Edition 🛠
Need a little extra help shaping your reply? This quick guide uses the same 3 Ps process I use myself: Pause, Pinpoint Truth, Proceed with Purposeful Forethought.
🧭 Practice Challenge 🧭
The next time someone's behavior surprises, frustrates, or annoys you, pause before deciding what it says about their character.
Then quietly ask yourself:
"What taught them that?"
You may never know the answer. But simply asking the question can create enough space for curiosity to replace certainty.
Why this matters: Our first interpretation isn't always the most accurate one. Even a moment of curiosity can help us move from assumptions to understanding.
💛 Episode Inspiration 💛
This episode began with a misunderstanding at my son's wedding. At first, I thought it was simply a cultural difference. But the more I reflected, the more I realized this kind of misunderstanding happens everywhere—in families, workplaces, friendships, churches, and neighborhoods. That experience reminded me how quickly we assume we understand someone's intentions when we may only be seeing them through our own experiences. That realization eventually became the question I hope to remember myself: "What taught them that?"